What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
