He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize
