just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
someone owes me an orgasm
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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