Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize