i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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