my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
