went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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