Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
