Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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