By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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