i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
