If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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