I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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