Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
