Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
