i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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