I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
