yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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