My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
