i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
