Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
