honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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