It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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