I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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