I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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