they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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