i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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