Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
