I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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