I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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