I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize