Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize