You're completely useless in the revolution.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
