the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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