she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this will be a night to untag.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize