I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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