he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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