White coat. Heels.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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