We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
