I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
