she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
