like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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