She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
