You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize