My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
