So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
