I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
