Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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