It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
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