neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
