And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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