Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
