So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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