so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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