Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize