I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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