id be glad to
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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