Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
