HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
