maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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