I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize